yep. i said it. no one really even reads my blog. so why write? i dont know. i guess it's a vent. i can say what i want, and maybe it is a little more comforting knowing that no one will read it.
i ended things with chris. so now, after its done you can see his face. brace yourself.
yeah there he is. in all of his glory. it didn't work.
this morning after i woke up, i was just sitting there in my bed thinking.... there is not one single person in this whole entire world that knows me. right here on this day of October whatever day it is, not one single person knows megan. my family has no idea what is going on in my life. My friends have no idea what is going on in my life, no one knows me. after i thought about that i cried. for a good 20 minutes. how pathetic is my life that no one consistently cares about what happens everyday of my life. i will go ahead and say that is probably one of the most terribly sad things i have ever had to tell myself. and even now, i can write all of this, but really.....? the only person who might read this, is the mother of someone who used to know me. ha. wow.
anywho. work is good. oh and i have hung out with justin lake twice in the last 3 days. probably the best thing to happen since the last time we hung out 3 1/2 years ago.
i have decided that i hate the internet. i hate how public it makes everyone lives. i hate knowing everything about someone because i can read it on facebook or myspace or on their blog. i hate cell phones too. i wish cell phones and internet were never inventer. eek. what a world.
i guess that is it.
3 comments:
Megs, I sit here reading your blog, with tears in my eyes. Because not that long ago, I felt the same way. Not knowing even myself who I was, and realizing that I had lived a whole life as an ultimate fraud. People had a better idea of who I was (or at least they thought they did), but how could they? I did'nt even know myself. I would look in the mirror and think who is that person? What do I stand for, what do I believe in, what do I like and why.....etc.
So my dear adopted daughter, I know how you feel. I know that this is a time in your life of discovery. A time to learn who you are. Don't spend time trying to be what you think others want you to be. Be Megan. That cute little long legged skinny girl that played with my little girl. Just be a grown up version.
Be true to your heart. And most importantly, love your self. This can sometimes take some time, but just try each day to do a little better at it.
And so you know, I read your blog. I check almost everyday. I'm interested, I care, and I love you.
I read your blog and you know that I will always love you! As someone once said it is engrained in my dna! lol I do love you and you can always call and talk or come visit! Keep your head up things will work the way they should
I read your blog. I care about you. I think I have a good idea about who you are, but it doesnt matter what I know. You need to know for yourself. Dont be afraid to let people in, there are a lot of people who care about you. I will still always be there for you.
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